Decent
by Nikkei Himura
Summary: Sasuke's POV representing his slow decent into madness starting after Itachi destroyed the clan and ending upon joining Orochimaru.


A/N Just to clarify because I realize it can be confusing, the man at the end is still Sasuke Uchiha, not any sort of third or second entity, it is simply the Sasuke Uchiha after his decent into madness is complete, the Sasuke who's point of view this is written from is the part of him I insist exists somewhere deep inside of Sasuke's heart that doesn't truly want to kill his brother despite what the rest of him says, I believe there is a real person in Sasuke somewhere, it's just repressed by the rest of him, thus the Voice of Reason(The part of Sasuke that doesn't want to kill Itachi and who isn't desperate for power and strength) Vs. the Demons(The part(s) of Sasuke who were born after his brother Massacred the clan and insist Sasuke can only rest after his brother is dead and Spoiler for those who haven't read the recent manga chapters the part(s) of him that decide to destroy Konoha after he kills Itachi  
/end spoilers) Anyway I hope this isn't too confusing or sketchy!

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I ran, I ran until I couldn't feel my legs anymore, I ran until it felt like my lungs were ripping themselves apart and my heart was going to burst from exertion, then I continued to run until my body betrayed me and gave out. I collapsed, wracked by pain I shuddered on the ground, I pulled in on myself curling my arms around my knee's I rocked back and forth, terrified. I didn't even feel the coarse grass, or what I thought had been grass, until it was gone, swallowed by void, the void I had freely entered and now desperately struggled to escape. But it didn't want me to leave, it wanted to keep me its personal slave, it wanted to shackle my body and slowly torture my soul until it shattered and I was left cold, empty. And ever present were the voices, my demons constantly mocking me, pointing out that I had chosen this pain, I had freely made the choice to enter this void.

All this, all this pain and horror, my own personal hell, all for what? To kill him? To kill the man I had practically worshipped for most of my childhood? The one voice left in my head that was truly my own doubted my actions; it pointed out the demons flawed thinking and was repressed as punishment. But I could still hear it, sometimes, but I didn't like the questions it asked;

"_Are you happy? Is the pain worth the sacrifice, are you ready to give away your soul, are you willing? Is this hell really that enticing to you? Will you really give away everything you are, become just like him, to destroy him?_

I opened the eyes I didn't even know I had shut, I screamed, screamed as loud as I could until my throat was hoarse and throbbing. But still I couldn't drown out the voice of reason, for that's what it was, the voice of truth repressed by my demons. I stared hard into the void, trying to ignore it's taunting questions, I pulled myself to my feet, stumbling forward my feet throbbed, as if the ground beneath me were made of needles and burning coals, but I would not be thwarted by pain. The voice was growing dimmer as I moved, being replaced by my demons.

"_We can give you power."_

_"He must be destroyed."_

_"Hate, hate, hate will give you the strength you crave."_

_"You are weak; you are nothing, that will not be tolerated."_

_"Destroying him will give back your Clan's dignity."_

_"You cannot live until he is dead."_

_"Power is your only choice."_

_"You must betray those you love to earn true strength."_

_"Hate, loath, despise, torture, kill."_

"**SHUT UP!"**

The words ripped from my throat as I fell to my knees, my head falling limply against my chest, my entire body slack and limp. My demons ignored my please, they only got louder, more of them joining in, taunting me, mocking me, so many of them, confusing, jumbled, evil. Then they were gone and the voice of reason was back, clear, defined, ringing out not only in my head but in the void around me.

"_You sicken me."_

The words ripped through me like daggers, every inch of my body was throbbing and I shuddered as an icy wind rushed through my void, tearing apart my wounded, tender body. And why? Because I agreed with the voice, I sickened myself, disgusted myself, detested and despised myself.

And then there was a hole in my void, light ripped into my shadows and ripped into my mind and eyes like bullets through wind or flesh. I looked up, glaring at whatever dare intrude into my darkness, break into my pain, my private hell. I spat blood from my mouth; I hadn't even noticed when I started bleed and part of me vaguely wondered why. I pulled myself up, ignored the pain 

shooting through my body and stood before the light, trying to maintain a menacing stance. But my body wouldn't listen; I stood slumped and listless, weak before the light. I looked up, staring into the light, and I was shocked. I stumbled back, trying to pull away and back into my void, but the light followed.

It was a mirror, or perhaps a window, I didn't know I just wanted it gone. I saw myself, standing tall. I saw pride and power in my eyes, but my body was dark, eaten almost wholly by the curse seal, covered in blood that wasn't mine. Kusanagi was lodged into a corpse, the same one I stood on, the top of a pyre of bodies. But there was something about the way I stood, something about the empty glint in my eyes. This wasn't me, it was my body but I was gone from it, this was my demons. Even the voice of reason, the last shred of myself I still had, was gone from this me. My reflection smirked at me and kicked the head of the body he stood on, it rolled over, looked at me. A shriek broke through my cracked lips, ripped my already throbbing throat open.

My brother, Itachi Uchiha was beneath my feet, Kusanagi's blood stained blade lodged in his stomach, blood dripping from his mouth, his eyes cold and empty. I scanned the pyre, I saw Konoha forehead protectors, a flash of orange beneath my brothers body.

Naruto Uzumaki's blood-stained corpse, this was followed by glimpses of other people I recognized.

Sakura Haruno.

Kakashi Sensei.

Tsunade, the fifth hokage.

And even others I knew only vaguely.

Kiba Inuzuka.

Shikamaru Nara.

Neji and Hinata Hyuga.

Choji Akimichi.

Ino Yamanaka.

Shino Aburame.

Rock Lee.

And even those who had opposed me at one time or another.

Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari from Sunagakure.

The Akatsuki, all of them.

Orochimaru.

Kabuto.

Sai, even.

All of them were broken, bleeding, lifeless corpses. Everyone I ever knew, even only briefly, was dead by my hands. Behind the pyramid of bodies was Konoha, burning and damaged, the Hokages faces were damage, large chunks missing, other sections cracked and crumbling, unrecognizable for who or what they once had been. Familiar buildings turned to rubble, what was still standing burned with dark black flames. I looked back to my face, my reflection stared back at me, the mangekyo sharingan glinted darkly.

"_This is your fate." _The reflection spoke, my voice echoed from its lips. I heard screaming, I didn't recognize the voice but my throat hurt, my mind throbbed, my eyes burned, my body felt like it had been shattered. I closed my mouth, my tongue was dry and cracking, the screaming stopped. I reached up and felt my face, it was wet. I pulled my hand away and looked at it, my fingers were covered in blood and tears, the screaming had been me, I was crying. I shivered, trying again to move away from the light, again it fallowed me.

Then the image changed, Naruto stood in the mirror, walking towards me, I backed away to no avail. A grin spread across Naruto's face and he reached a hand out to me. And then I saw a flash of silver behind him, Kusanagi's blade.

"Naruto!" My voice was hoarse as I called out to him, to warn him, but it was too late, he couldn't hear me. Kusanagi's blade pierced his heart and his glittering eyes dimmed as he fell. I stood behind him, smirking, the same demon-me from the last image. Then this imaged changed as well, Sakura stood before me with open arms, but again I saw the flash of Kusanagi and again I cried out an unheard warning. Sakura's head fell to the ground; her empty eye's looked up at me pleadingly. Her body slumped and again I stared into my own eyes, eyes filled with power and hatred. I tried to turn away but my body wouldn't listen, my eyes wouldn't blink.

The image changed again, Itachi stood before me now his Akatsuki cloak was gone and he smiled at me like he used to when we would play together, he reached up and shooed me, taunting me to charge like he used to. Then I saw it, the glint of steel, this time glowing with the black light of a cursed chidori.

"Aniki! Aniki, no!" I screamed, I don't know why, why seeing the demon-me kill the man I wanted nothing more to destroy killed me so much. I moved forward, my legs shook uncontrollably as I moved closer to the light, they threatened to give out on me but I ignored it. I stumbled the last few feet, putting my hands in front of me instinctively as I fell towards the mirror. My palms immediately burned as they came into contact with the mirror's surface, I didn't care, pain was a constant in this void. I beat against the cold surface, and yet my hands burned and blistered painfully, but I did not, would not, relent.

"No, no! Aniki! Aniki turn around! I won't watch this!" I screamed as loud as my hoarse, throbbing throat would let me, I beat against the burning icy surface, but I could not look away. The image burned itself into my mind as my blade, my chidori, struck down my brother in slow motion. I screamed as my brothers eyes glazed over, penetrating me with that accusing stare, I was forced to watch as his body crumpled and fell to reveal the demon-me standing behind him, smirking at me. He lodged Kusanagi into Itachi's lifeless body and stepped towards me. I stumbled backwards moving away as he stepped through the glass. I tried to move faster, but finally my legs gave out and I fell backwards, my back collided with the ground and I pulled myself backwards on my elbows, still trying to move away.

_"Why do you fear me Sasuke? Isn't this what you wanted? What you asked for?" _He spoke with my voice, but it wasn't mine, it hissed, snake-like like Orochimaru. I continued to move away and he continued to fallow me, so smooth it seemed his feet never really hit the ground.

"No! No! I don't want this!" I shouted, this wasn't right; this wasn't what was supposed to happen. This wasn't how it was supposed to end; this wasn't what I had asked for.

"_You're brother was right, you are foolish. This is exactly what you asked for, you asked for power, you asked for strength. This is how you will obtain it, and then you will kill him, strike him down with ease." _He taunted me, I shuddered, because he was right, this was what I had asked for, I had never specified how I wanted to obtain it. I had asked for power and he would grant my wish, at the cost of everything I was and everything I ever loved.

"I-I don't want this anymore." I whispered the words, looking up at his face I was terrified, my voice wavered and cracked as I spoke. He laughed a cold, empty, evil laugh that made me flinch and try to move back even farther. The laughter echoed in the void even after he had closed his mouth. He smirked and shook his head as if there was something funny here that I simply hadn't caught on to.

"_Oh Sasuke, don't you realize? You can't back out now, you have already sealed the deal._" He chuckled as he spoke, obviously finding my pleas terribly entertaining. He reached towards me, I couldn't move, I was frozen to the ground and my body wouldn't respond to me, I couldn't even speak or shudder, everything was frozen. He grasped the top of my head in his hand, his icy palm resting on my forehead. My eyes widened, the only reaction I seemed capable of doing right now. His grip tightened, my head throbbed with it and my heart raced.

"_No! Sasuke! Don't let him do this! Get up, run away, leave this void now or you'll be lost forever!" _The voice of reason rang in my head now, but it was weak, garbled, I could barely understand it. I wanted to obey it though, every fiber of me screamed to run, to get up and move and never stop, never let him catch me. But my body wouldn't obey me; I was stuck, frozen to the ground stuck in this void, his grip increasing, squeezing my head.

"_Nothing in this world comes without sacrifice Sasuke, and power comes at the ultimate sacrifice. Say good bye Sasuke, this will be my world now, but don't worry I'll uphold my bargain, your brother will die." _The demon-me spoke calmly, and these were the last words I would ever hear, I heard the crackle of chidori just before it was channeled into my skull, and then everything ended.

Sasuke sat up calmly in bed, unaffected by the nightmare. Brushing aside the covers he stood up and stood in the center of the room. He looked around casually; he noticed the open door leading to a bathroom. With a level of grace greater than he had had before he crossed the room, entering through the open door he flipped on the bathrooms light and crossed the room to the mirror that hung floor to ceiling directly opposite the entrance. He smirked as he looked himself over and casually activated the curse seal.

"Thank you, Sasuke," He hissed, curling and uncurling his fingers, staring at his hand almost in awe, "You will now know power above all others, you're sacrifice will be rewarded." He spoke to himself, though he knew the young man he had once been couldn't hear him. The young man who had given up his soul, his sense of self, and most of all everything he loved in exchange for the power and strength to kill the one man part of him never really wanted to kill.

Sasuke Uchiha's decent into madness was finally complete.


End file.
